NARRATOR: He’s gone! He’s gone! The Lighthouse Man has gone! Sicario and Fisherman are lying prone The old man’s lost his mind And cut the ties that bind! All that he once knew so well he’s left behind He’s gone! Moved on and ran away! He’s gone! He’s gone! He’s wronged! He’s conned and betrayed! He’s gone! The tower’s cordoned off The fire still burns aloft The flames are dancing higher to the sky above The hitman’s remains Were salvaged from the blaze The coroners are taking him away He’s gone! Moved on and ran away! He’s gone! He’s gone! He’s wronged! He’s conned and betrayed! He’s gone! The keeper’s left no trace Nobody’s seen his face The town must call upon someone to solve this case The Judge knows just the guy A renowned private-eye If anyone can find him it’s Detective Stein! He’s gone! Moved on and ran away! He’s gone! He’s gone! He’s wronged! He’s conned and betrayed! He’s gone!

[Phone ringing] RAY [Spoken]: Who is it?... Who the hell’s asking?... Well okay then Detective Ray Stein… I don’t want nothing to do with -- wait...Lighthouse MAN? And there’s a fisherman caught up in this too? Hold on a second, could you spell that? S-I-C-A-R-I-O… Well it sounds like you’ve got a real mess on your hands, your honour…I’ll be right over… see you soon. So help me God, I’ll solve this case… RAY [Singing]: I'll solve the case, I'll fix their mess, I'll rid that place, Of its distress. I've got the knack, Soon they'll all see Ray Stein is back! Back on his feet. CHIEF: Now hold up just one second, Stein. Where do you think you're going? RAY: I've got a case. Town by the name of “Lighthaven”. Double murder. Maybe more! CHIEF: Well, very well then. But listen, Ray, you know this won't bring her back, don't you? POLICESWAIN: He's gone, chief CHIEF: STEIN...STEEEEEEIN! NARRATOR: Detective Stein, Drove on down Through the night To the town Soon a shadow He did spy The burnt-out lighthouse Against the sky He parked his wheels Down the main street Soon the townsfolk He did meet He’s a stranger…new in town He saw a lad All doom and gloom He said "My dad 'Twas killed by a harpoon" "Who made the shot?" Stein asked this guy F. BOY: “THE LIGHTHOUSE MAN” Came the reply Along the street, The people cried “He must be caught He cannot hide! He’s a traitor…we’ll hunt him down!" And Ray said “Gee” I smell a rat And something’s fishy On top of that” "I'll crack this nut" He told the crowd "No ifs and no buts The truth will out Ray Stein’s the name Please understand I’ll sort this out It’s in good hands” I’ll drive the danger…from this town RAY [Spoken]: Say, where’s a guy gotta go for some answers in this town? FISHERBOY [Spoken]: W ell there’s the ol’ docks a’course, not much goes on ‘rand‘ere that gets past the fishermen. But they be closed this morning on acc’ant of me old man’s funeral. P’raps try Mrs Fischer? They say she taught ‘em all in Light’aven. RAY [Spoken]: Thanks kid, I’ll head to the schoolhouse NOW. What was your name again? FISHERBOY [Spoken]: Oh, they call me the Fisherboy, since me dad is --- was --- The Fisherman. Oh, ‘ere I go again, don’t mind me! [sobs]

MS FISCHER: Well hello young man, would you like some tea? I am Mrs Fischer, do sit with me I've got Viennese whirls and custard creams, Shortbread, bourbons and garibaldis! What a variety! RAY: Greetings crone, I beg you to explain The keeper has gone and two men are slain You’re a teacher, is that the truth? And taught the keeper all through his youth How ancient can she be? MS FISCHER: Oh you must be parched dear, it’s sad to see You look tired and drained, don't you agree? Just sip this up and you'll feel as good as gold But with haste, my child before it gets cold Naturally caffeine-free! RAY: Now listen hag, you mustn't digress Just answer the question with a no or a yes I don't want your oolong or chamomile And english breakfast ain’t my style He only drinks coffee! MS FISCHER: Why yes I taught him, all that he knows He seldom spoke, only when he chose The other lads would mock him so They'd torment the poor boy till tears would flow How very sad indeed! RAY: Ms Fischer ma’am why didn’t you restrain The kids from causing him such pain He must be scarred from all that stress No wonder he’s packed up and left! Gone on a killing spree! MS FISCHER: Well you see my dear, he’d never rise to the bait He had other things that were on his plate I do not believe he’d hurt a fly I think someone’s been spreading lies Innocent not guilty! MS FISCHER [Spoken]: Now I’m afraid I must bid you goodbye, Detective Stein. A very sad occasion… I must attend the funeral of two former students of mine. RAY: [Aside]: There’s something fishy going on here The facts still remain unclear If Ms Fischer’s tale is true I’ll need to gather up some clues!

NARRATOR: There goes Sicario Funeral for a Foe Pallbearers walking oh-so slow Townsfolk are mourning them The midwives and fishermen This was the Lighthouse Man’s masterplan! (Ahhhhs and weeping start) LOCAL 1: He was a misunderstood genius! LOCAL 2: His paintings touched me in ways no art has done before! LOCAL 3: We all loved ‘im! Deep d’an we all loved ’im to bits (Ahhhhs and weeping end) RAY: Who is that man I saw? Standing at the rear... Wearing a hooded shawl of cashmere. Where have I seen that face? Why does he sport a gown? I think I better chase...him down (Ahhhhs and weeping start) LOCAL 1: He will be missed...we’ll miss him LOCAL 2: I know not of his views or inspiration for the shipwrecks he depicts but it must have rooted from some inner turmoil (Ahhhhs and weeping end) There goes Sicario Funeral for a Foe Pallbearers walking oh...so slow Townsfolk are mourning them The midwives and fishermen This was the Lighthouse Man’s masterplan! LOCAL [Spoken]: Goodbye, goodbye sicario… we love you.

NARRATOR: Ray chased him down the cobbled lane The wind was howlin’ like a hurricane! The hooded man tried with all his might To slip away and vanish out of sight RAY: Hey! Stop, you’re violating the law! I’m positive you bear a face that I saw At the station on a wanted sign Don’t you know that I’m Detective Stein?! Hooded maaaaan! The hooded maaaaan! He’s a wanted maaaaan! That hooded maaaaaan! Hooded maaaaan! The Hooded maaaaan! Oh how he raaaaaan! That hooded maaaaaan! RAY: Stop that beggar he’s getting away! I can’t keep up and he’s leading me astray He’s gotta know about the goings-on He may inform me where the keeper has gone! Suddenly he stumbled to the ground And when he landed Ray was startled by the sound Something wooden made a deafening twang [**TWANG**] ‘Twas the banjo of the Banjo Man Hooded maaaaan! The hooded maaaaan! He’s the Banjo Maaaaan! That hooded maaaaaan! Hooded maaaaan! The Hooded maaaaan! Oh how he raaaaaan! That Banjo Maaaaaan! RAY: Why did you run away from me, you little swine? It’s no use now, this is the end of the line. I want some info that I think you will know I’ll get you talking now just see if I don’t! BANJO MAN: Detective sir...you don’t understand! I’m not a crook, this is getting out of hand! You must protect me, take me somewhere secure In return I’ll tell you everything and more! Hooded maaaaan! The hooded maaaaan! He’s(/I'm) the Banjo Maaaaan! That hooded maaaaaan! Hooded maaaaan! The hooded maaaaan! He’s(/I'm) the Banjo Maaaaan! That hooded maaaaaan RAY [Spoken]: You come with me, buster. You’ll be interviewed in the nearest public building. Ah what have we here… the Red Herring. That looks like a good place to get some straight answers for once!

RAY: This place, should do fine for this interview You sir, who’s the landlord round here? BARMAN: Not me, I’m just here for a week or two Ernie, is off on annual leave RAY: I see. Is that why it’s so dead in here? Business must have gone to the dogs BARMAN: No sir, it’s the brewery – it’s flooded, see? Ernie, wants the cellar kept locked RAY: Locked, huh? So you’re telling me there’s no booze? Guess I'll just have two coffees - black Do you have a backroom that I can use? BARMAN: Yes sir, it’s out there in the back Come with me, hooded man, spill everything you can, then I’ll crack open the caaaase! RAY: When I’m in Ernie’s Roooom The truth will find a way In Ernie’s Roooooom I’ll find the answers to my questions (BM: Keep me in) Ernie’s Room You have to keep me safe When we’re in Ernie’s Room (BM: He’ll kill me!) This mind game can be won! BANJO MAN: Help me! He’ll be sending his hitmen They’re ruthless, they’ll slay me in cold blood RAY: Good sir, you must give more commitment And tell me what you think I should know! BM: I am, but a harmless old troubadour Wandering, to help all those in need From now on, I’ll be running forever more Please help! Or I’ll never be freed! RAY: If you cooperate, (BM: yes let’s collaborate) I promise I will protect you When I’m in Ernie’s Roooom The truth will find a way In Ernie’s Roooooom I’ll find the answers to my questions (BM: I’m safe in) Ernie’s Room No harpoon can enter here When we’re in Ernie’s Room This web can be unspun! RAY: Now then, I need something more concrete, man Tell me, who’s the man who you fear? Is he, someone linked to that Lighthouse Man Blamed for all the deaths around here? BM: Yes, sir, he’s the man at the heart of it Hear me, leave this case well alone. THE COBBLER- he’s the monster who started it Let’s flee, else I’ll die on my own! RAY: I’ll find this man of shoes BM: Noooooooo, sir, I beg of you RAY: Sorry I have things to doooooo RAY: When I’m in Ernie’s Roooom (BM: Nooooooooooooooo) The truth will find a way In Ernie’s Roooooom (BM: You promissssssssed!) RAY: I’ll find the answers to my questions (BM: I’m not safe in) Ernie’s Room BM: You liaaaaar! I thought we had a deal RAY: When we’re in Ernie’s Room, this case will come undone!

RAY [Spoken]: Lock this room, will you, Barman? I’ve gotta feelin’ my new friend, the banjo man might be thinking o’fleeing. I just don’t get it. All this fuss about a shoemaker and a lonely old seaman...I just don’t understand how such a small town can be affected by two people - especially since one’s never been seen and the other’s vanished. Say, who's that sorry-looking dame lighting up out back? Friend of yours? BARMAN: That's Ernie's Niece, Nancy. She's been acting landlord while he's away. RAY: Nancy, huh? I wonder if she can help clear up some questions … BARMAN: You best be careful detective, she's not the kind of girl to give straight answers to any Tom, Dick or Harry...a person like you...really has no chance -- RAY: Hey, you questioning my authority? BARMAN: All I'm saying is... Well the thing about Nancy, There's always something on her mind Approach her and you shall see She's like no other girl you'll find She's got a poisoned tongue She's highly strung She trusts no one And she carries a gun You gotta know about Nancy You’ll be greeted with a snarl No there's no one colder than she Yeah she's a real femme fatale She's unusually vile eternally hostile Wears a wicked smile Yeah that's just her style That’s the trouble with Nancy... You don't want to get involved RAY: But listen here, I've got a plan, see Cos there's a case that I must solve Appreciate your advice I'll have a bourbon on ice She can't be more uptight than the trouble in strife... [Elongated clicking and loud footsteps while Ray crosses the room] So I hear that you're Nancy? I'm a detective on a case I wondered if you can tell me Just what happened in this place?

NANCY: What makes you think I'll talk to someone like you? Why would I confide in someone with a lingering odour of month-old whisky and cheap cigars? RAY: Well kid, unless you wanna get arrested for refusing to assist and wasting police time...I'd start talking now NANCY: You're rude and grouchy...I expect those traits in most men...but not a detective. RAY: Fight fire with fire I say...I heard you're a tough nut to crack. NANCY: Well I'm no nut, Mr Stein, but how do you expect to crack anything if you can't even crack a simple case with the answer laid out right in front of you? RAY: You wanna tell me what the hell you're talking about? NANCY: I'm talking about Lighthouse Man killing two men in cold blood and vanishing into thin air...everybody knows what happened...we don't need a bumbling detective to work that out. RAY: Why'd you sound so sure it was the old man? NANCY: He's done it before...the sailors never made it back alive because of his shenanigans...he took out his loneliness on the town and now he must pay the price...his murdering days are over...good riddance I say. RAY: Sounds like you're holding quite a grudge, Miss...did you happen to know one of the victims? NANCY: Only the love of my life...but I wouldn't expect you to understand... RAY: Try me. NANCY: He murdered many people...most of them were just plain old sailors...but then he got too close to home... RAY: Just who is it that you are referring to? NANCY: Oh what’s the point? Why don’t you pester someone else? RAY: Who? NANCY: I mean it detective, leave -- RAY: WHO?! NANCY: THE SICARIO YOU FOOL! [sobs] RAY: Hmm...you wanna tell me about your relationship with this...Sicario fella? I’ve heard mixed things about his reputation. NANCY: I suppose there’s no use in fighting it...I’m too exhausted...I knew the true Sicario…The Sicario was only a role he performed, a job he was forced into...but I knew him for the man he was born to be...The Artist! RAY: Art, you say? Not very into your Bible in this part of town, huh? NANCY: I need only look at the beautiful works he left behind to feel the touch of god. RAY: I’m guessing you and Sicario shared more than a penchant for acting mysterious, am I right? NANCY: Oh, we shared everything. We were lovers. When we met, he promised me the world. He was certain that when people saw his paintings he’d be a sensation and we’d have the life we’d always dreamed of. But it never happened. No one in this town recognises true talent when they see it. Sure, he struggled by: a commission for a shop sign here, a painting sold to a judge there, but he never found a big break. That was when he got involved with the Cobbler… Now the Cobbler saw something in my love. He saw a tool he could use to build an empire. Before I knew what was happening, my artist became the Cobbler’s greatest lieutenant, collecting the Shoe Tax and protecting that damn shoemaker from threats against his life. RAY: But he ended up dead himself. Now that’s what I call a tragic tale. But there’s a lot of death going around this town at the moment. What about the Fisherman, Fisherboy’s father? NANCY: That old whispering cad? I wonder, Mr Stein, as the harpoon pierced him, d’you think he thought of all the fish he’s killed the same way? His son’s a better man than he ever was. RAY (voice raised): Not the sympathetic type are ya? I thought you might be a bit more cooperative knowing a man’s life could be at stake. NANCY (shouted): I’ve already lost the only man I ever loved. RAY (shouting, getting increasingly loud): But what about the Lighthouse Man? Don’t ya think anyone loves him, huh? Doesn’t this town owe him a debt for all the lives he’s saved? What if he didn’t murder all those sailors that one time? He could be out there somewhere innocent as a lamb but doomed to slaughter. Don’t you care that a good man’s life could be lost? NANCY (virtually screaming now): LOST? I’ve already LOST everything. And no one can know the price I’ve paid. Don’t ask me about the Lighthouse Man. I say good riddance to bad rubbish. People don’t normally escape from wh---- from wherever he is… RAY: I'll talk to you again soon, Nancy.

NARRATOR: The pub lights flickered, then went out Ray heard the sound of someone shout A brooding cackle filled the air It seemed to echo 'round and from no-where RAY: It’s a blackout, no one move! The sound of laughter slowly died The punters all were terrified Ray found a lamp upon the latch And quickly lit the wick with a safety match [Match striking] RAY: Who is there? Show yourself! The Banjo Man had disappeared He'd been abducted far from here The case had just become severe Only his instrument remained Found on the floor by a blood stain It was the night the blackout came Quick as a flash the lights came on The banjo player was still gone Ray knew he couldn’t work alone He cursed this case and yelled into the phone RAY: I need backup, there's a kidnapped man! He left the pub with such a start Blood rushed from his beating heart He ran through the streets and moors Until he found himself at the sea shore RAY: It looks like I'm too late... The Banjo Man was lying dead a single shoelace by his head He had been strangled with the thread And at this time the force arrived They wished they could avert their eyes Who could commit this brutal crime?

NARRATOR: Oh what an awful sight A good man’s died tonight, Now we must all unite To put things right RAY: But what is that I see? Right in front of me afloat by the jetty what could it be? CROWD: It's a washed up letter in a bottle Fetch it quick and please do not dawdle We must get that letter in the bottle Before the tide goes out Can't you see that letter in a bottle? I'm not lying or talking twaddle I must read that letter in the bottle How did it come about? NARRATOR: The bottle was retrieved By the force at speed And while the townsfolk grieved Ray seemed relieved He poured out all the sand And gave the note a scan RAY: "Well I'll be bloody damned It's from the Lighthouse Man!" CROWD: It's a washed up letter in a bottle Read it quick and please do not dawdle We have got the letter in the bottle Please Ray, read it out RAY: (spoken) “I’ve just found a letter in a bottle I’m not lying or talking twaddle I must read that letter in the bottle What’s it all about?” RAY [cont.]: Here goes…

Part I: A Whale of a Time LM: To whom it may concern The last I recall I was falling Down to the waves below The flames of the beacon were growing...really growing The Sicario had perished in the fire Lightning struck his blade and he was gone The sailors were guided back to land But they will surely blame me for this con...for this con I must've blacked out for several hours The next thing I know I'm surrounded by crimson walls and ceiling beams of flesh And whale sounds echo all around me...all around me Oh I’ve had a whale of a time But now I've reached the end of the line I've had a whale of a time In this creature I will surely die...surely die I came across some debris near the blowhole I found a trunk made of camphor Inside were piles of parchment scrolls Each of them was signed off by my father...by my father ---------- Part II: In Ancient Times FATHER: My dearest son The war’s not won I’ll face my fate Though years too late... It’s come about My Secret’s Out And now I fear My end is growing near I’ve held my tongue For far too long Of long gone breath And forgotten death Know that I died Within the tide Trapped in this whale Forgotten, faint and frail In Ancient Times The Light did shine But come the dawn It’ll shine no more ---------- Part III: A Whale of a Time (Reprise) LM: Oh lo and behold it is my father Here he passed away long before me So it seems I'll follow in his footsteps And lay to rest down below the sea (below the sea) CROWD (All): Oh he’s had a whale of a time But now he’s reached the end of the line Oh he’s had a whale of a time In this creature he will surely die...surely die

Montage: RAY [Spoken]: The Cobbler huh? There’s that name again. I seem to hear it everywhere I go in this town. Fisherboy (spoken): Look out for The Cobbler Mrs Fisher (spoken):...Of course the Cobbler was one of my old students… Local 1 (spoken):...Wotcha, Cobbler... Barman (spoken): The Cobbler Banjo Man: THE COBBLER’LL GET ME Local 2 (spoken): He’s got cobblerfear, that one Nancy (spoken):...that’s when he met the Cobbler… Judge (spoken):...Cobbler... Local 3 (spoken):...Many a cobbler makes a cockle, Mr Stein... Lighthouse Man/Lighthouse Man Sr: The Cobbler. ---------- Part I: Ladies and Fishermen You have been called upon To hear my explanation Of where the keeper's gone I've been through all the town Following his trail So won't you all sit down And listen to this tale CROWD: He’s a killer! He must hang For his crimes Against Human-ity! He slayed them In cold blood Everyone In this pub agrees! JUDGE: He was found guilty! RAY: Well see, that's not quite right For I know the whole truth now Yes he was there that night But his blame I can't allow 'Cos he is not the one That harpooned fisherman And you all have condemned The wrong man all along CROWD: But surely He’s the one If no-one Else was at the scene Show us Some evidence That proves his Soul is squeaky clean RAY: I'll lay this out nice and clear... When lightning struck his foe And shone light out sea The keeper fell below And was out cold instantly And then who should arrive to carry out his ploy With a dinghy on standby The town's own…FISHERBOY FISHERBOY: Wh-what? You can’t believe That I had A-thing to do with this! I was… Fast asleep At home while My father was harpooned! What a foolish claim! ---------- Part II: The culprit sailed to shore The beach was where he moored He dragged the Lighthouse Man's Body 'cross the sand I found a tire track Where the banjo man was attacked a barrow must've been what took him from the scene He wheeled him through the town when no one was around down the streets he went to this establishment! CROWD: [Gasps] What's he on about? Oh no! No! Surely he can't mean that- of all the gin joints in all the towns It can’t be here can it? It can’t be here, surely not? Not here! Not here! Not here! Not here! RAY: Yes The Red Herring The place we're standing in Is where the keeper lies Away from prying eyes But he was not alone There's someone he had known To let him in this place Twas Nancy he embraced CROWD: [Louder gasps & screams] NANCY: I HAD TO! I HAD TO PROTECT MY LOVER’S LEGACY! You must understand Mr Stein, I did it out of love! It was love I tell you! Love! LOVE! The sicario...or the artist as he was once known...was merely fulfilling a lifelong dream of his...a dream to paint his masterpiece, the opus of all opuses...he always dreamed of making it big That is until this man...this confounded Lighthouse Man had to get involved! He's the true criminal for preventing such a beautiful work of art from being created! He deserves every ounce of misfortune that comes his way! RAY: And where is he now? The man you’ve hunted down Yes something is awry And no-one can deny He's right beneath our feet below in the concrete The cellar is his jail But he thinks it’s a whale ---------- Part III: FISHERBOY: NO! You must be mad if you be-lieve ‘im I won't be ac-cused of such a sin I ‘ad no part in this ‘ol misdeed It was ‘undred-percent Nancy! NARRATOR: The Fisher-boy dashed at such a speed He reached the doorway, but he was seized By the town’s con-stab-u-lar-y They showed absolutely no mercy JUDGE: "Bind him in chains" cried the magistrate Let's just see if I have this straight... These two abducted the Lighthouse Man To make him seem like he CROWD (All): Hit and raaaaaaaan! Hit and raaaaaaaaan! Oh what a shaaaaaam! Oh what a shaaaam! RAY: Yes! Your honour, all that I’ve said is true Now follow me and I'll show to you The letter found by the mangled mage See the blood stain on the final page? It is the same stain that I saw there The cellar door over by those stairs-- It's fastened shut, but I have the key Found on the body of -- CROWD (All): The Banjo Maaaaaaan! The Banjo Maaaaaan! He was the hooded maaaaaan! That Banjo Maaaaaan! RAY: It seems he had a part in this tale But he was silenced by sick blackmail The Cobbler enslaved him to build a tool Which hides securely behind these walls NARRATOR: With some force Ray found his way inside The room smelt pungent like something died And up ahead of the dark chamber They saw a fishy container ---------- Part IV: RAY: [Slower] So this is the whale you all thought The keeper had been eaten by (in the sea!) When all the while he had been locked up by these wrongdoers (he must be freed!) This is the last work of the Cobb-uh-ler’s Sicario (his legacy!) And the late Banjo Man assisted With the sound effects (his expertise) He built the instrument that's playing whale sounds endlessly-- ---------- Part V: RAY: The tiny giveaway Of this entire case The bloodstains were red dye From the whale’s insides NANCY: But how did you know The keeper was below? We covered up our trail Our plan just couldn’t fail! RAY: Well after the keeper wrote His dreary, desperate note You snatched it from him when The blackout struck again You stumbled around blind And the best thing you could find Among the pints and halves Was this old glass carafe You snatched the Banjo Man From the site and ran And killed him at the beach And placed this clue in reach And just as I believed The glass base clearly reads: “This is the property... Of the Red Herring Brewery” NARRATOR: [Spoken]: And then with a loud crash, Ray broke open the simulator’s hatch with a nearby barrel and the Lighthouse Man emerged and stumbled out onto the cellar floor. He looked exhausted, so unbelievably exhausted but there was also an indication of relief that seemed to shine out from his glistening, kind eyes. The keeper had been saved...at last...he was free.

NARRATOR: The townsfolk are swarmin’ Outside the waterin' hole Everybody’s formin’ A circle round the door Some locals are escortin’ The keeper out the buildin’ - to his feet Ray follows slowly Behind the Lighthouse Man (behind the lighthouse man) Punters are shakin’ The old man by the hand And lawmen are makin’ Amends for their terrible mistake CROWD: And soon he’ll be back home and dry His light’ll shine from Lighthaven tonight The bells are gently ringin’ Atop the old schoolhouse The kids are looking solemn And covering their mouths Old Mrs. Fischer’s weepin’ She’s fallin’ to her knees in such a state The sailors and the fishermen Are standin’ in a row (standin’ in a row) Quietly their heads are bowed Down to the floor below And all the flags on the all boats Are flyin’ up high at half-mast today CROWD: And soon he’ll be back home and dry His light’ll shine from Lighthaven tonight The Jurors don’t say anything The Judge is lookin’ pale The lighthouse keeper’s shakin’ His bones are all so frail Ray pulls him aside and said “This Cobbler guy, is there anything that you know?” The old man looks up at him With his hollow, sunken eyes (hollow sunken eyes) He quivers with a shudder and he Looks at Ray surprised When he finally speaks he said “He’ll always be around - he can’t be stopped.” CROWD: And soon he’ll be back home and dry His light’ll shine from Lighthaven tonight Nancy and the Fisherboy Are locked inside a van Cursin’ and objectin’ To the poorly Lighthouse Man But everybody knows now The truth behind these unfortunate crimes Barman’s shuttin’ up the pub They’ll be closed for a while (be closed for a while) Ernie’s back from holidays His cab pulls up in style He looks around and drops his bags And says ERNIE: What the hell have I missed now? CROWD: And soon he’ll be back home and dry His light’ll shine from Lighthaven tonight RAY: And soon I’ll be back home and dry Well so long now Lighthaven, goodbye! RAY [Spoken]: I’m back in business, Lou...no more moping around and feeling sorry for myself anymore! I’m gonna finally be someone...someone that’ll make a difference...I’m going to stop off at Margie’s and get her back, I’ve been a real fool...Hey Lou...how come you’ve gone all quiet? Was it something I said? Hello?” ???????: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...AAAAAH HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! [To be continued…]

BARMAN: Oh I’m goin’ down to Lighthaven With my rags and elbow grease Yeah I’m goin’ down to Lighthaven Down to work with Ernie’s niece I ain’t got no one else, my friend But moonshine’s my release I packed my bags this morning Got the train at half past eight Yeah I packed my bags this morning Can’t afford to get there late I rolled up to the station And there was Nancy at the gate [Melodica solo] The town was old and dated Not a modern thing in sight Yeah the town was old and dated No, no, something wasn’t right When I looked up there was black smoke Pouring out the lighthouse light I said “take me to the taproom” So I can pay my dues Yeah I said “take me to the taproom” Where I can serve the booze When I looked down at her feet, well She wasn’t wearin’ any shoes! We got to The Red Herring It’s a small time brewery Yeah we got to The Red Herring Has its own distillery I guess I got my work cut out If you were here you’d all agree