Montage:

RAY [Spoken]:
The Cobbler huh? There’s that name again. I seem to hear it everywhere I go in this town.

Fisherboy (spoken): Look out for The Cobbler
Mrs Fisher (spoken):...Of course the Cobbler was one of my old students…
Local 1 (spoken):...Wotcha, Cobbler...
Barman (spoken): The Cobbler
Banjo Man: THE COBBLER’LL GET ME
Local 2 (spoken): He’s got cobblerfear, that one
Nancy (spoken):...that’s when he met the Cobbler…
Judge (spoken):...Cobbler...
Local 3 (spoken):...Many a cobbler makes a cockle, Mr Stein...
Lighthouse Man/Lighthouse Man Sr:
The Cobbler.

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Part I:

Ladies and Fishermen
You have been called upon
To hear my explanation
Of where the keeper's gone

I've been through all the town
Following his trail
So won't you all sit down
And listen to this tale

CROWD:
He’s a killer!
He must hang
For his crimes
Against Human-ity!
He slayed them
In cold blood
Everyone
In this pub agrees!

JUDGE:
He was found guilty!

RAY:
Well see, that's not quite right
For I know the whole truth now
Yes he was there that night
But his blame I can't allow

'Cos he is not the one
That harpooned fisherman
And you all have condemned
The wrong man all along

CROWD:
But surely
He’s the one
If no-one
Else was at the scene
Show us
Some evidence
That proves his
Soul is squeaky clean

RAY:
I'll lay this out nice and clear...

When lightning struck his foe
And shone light out sea
The keeper fell below
And was out cold instantly

And then who should arrive
to carry out his ploy
With a dinghy on standby
The town's own…FISHERBOY

FISHERBOY:
Wh-what?
You can’t believe
That I had
A-thing to do with this!

I was…
Fast asleep
At home while
My father was harpooned!

What a foolish claim!

----------

Part II:

The culprit sailed to shore
The beach was where he moored
He dragged the Lighthouse Man's
Body 'cross the sand

I found a tire track
Where the banjo man was attacked
a barrow must've been
what took him from the scene

He wheeled him through the town
when no one was around
down the streets he went
to this establishment!

CROWD:
[Gasps]
What's he on about?
Oh no! No!
Surely he can't mean that-
of all the gin joints in all the towns
It can’t be here can it?
It can’t be here, surely not?
Not here! Not here! Not here! Not here!

RAY:
Yes The Red Herring
The place we're standing in
Is where the keeper lies
Away from prying eyes

But he was not alone
There's someone he had known
To let him in this place
Twas Nancy he embraced

CROWD:
[Louder gasps & screams]

NANCY:
I HAD TO!
I HAD TO PROTECT MY LOVER’S LEGACY!
You must understand Mr Stein, I did it out of love! It was love I tell you! Love! LOVE!

The sicario...or the artist as he was once known...was merely fulfilling a lifelong dream of his...a dream to paint his masterpiece, the opus of all opuses...he always dreamed of making it big

That is until this man...this confounded Lighthouse Man had to get involved! He's the true criminal for preventing such a beautiful work of art from being created!
He deserves every ounce of misfortune that comes his way!

RAY:
And where is he now?
The man you’ve hunted down
Yes something is awry
And no-one can deny

He's right beneath our feet
below in the concrete
The cellar is his jail
But he thinks it’s a whale

----------

Part III:

FISHERBOY:
NO! You must be mad if you be-lieve ‘im
I won't be ac-cused of such a sin
I ‘ad no part in this ‘ol misdeed
It was ‘undred-percent Nancy!

NARRATOR:
The Fisher-boy dashed at such a speed
He reached the doorway, but he was seized
By the town’s con-stab-u-lar-y
They showed absolutely no mercy

JUDGE:
"Bind him in chains" cried the magistrate
Let's just see if I have this straight...
These two abducted the Lighthouse Man
To make him seem like he
CROWD (All):
Hit and raaaaaaaan!
Hit and raaaaaaaaan!
Oh what a shaaaaaam!
Oh what a shaaaam!

RAY:
Yes! Your honour, all that I’ve said is true
Now follow me and I'll show to you
The letter found by the mangled mage
See the blood stain on the final page?

It is the same stain that I saw there
The cellar door over by those stairs--
It's fastened shut, but I have the key
Found on the body of --

CROWD (All):
The Banjo Maaaaaaan!
The Banjo Maaaaaan!
He was the hooded maaaaaan!
That Banjo Maaaaaan!

RAY:
It seems he had a part in this tale
But he was silenced by sick blackmail
The Cobbler enslaved him to build a tool
Which hides securely behind these walls

NARRATOR:
With some force Ray found his way inside
The room smelt pungent like something died
And up ahead of the dark chamber
They saw a fishy container

----------

Part IV:

RAY: [Slower]
So this is the whale you all thought
The keeper had been eaten by (in the sea!)
When all the while he had been locked up by these wrongdoers (he must be freed!)
This is the last work of the Cobb-uh-ler’s Sicario (his legacy!)
And the late Banjo Man assisted
With the sound effects (his expertise)
He built the instrument that's
playing whale sounds endlessly--

----------

Part V:

RAY:
The tiny giveaway
Of this entire case
The bloodstains were red dye
From the whale’s insides

NANCY:
But how did you know
The keeper was below?
We covered up our trail
Our plan just couldn’t fail!

RAY:
Well after the keeper wrote
His dreary, desperate note
You snatched it from him when
The blackout struck again

You stumbled around blind
And the best thing you could find
Among the pints and halves
Was this old glass carafe

You snatched the Banjo Man
From the site and ran
And killed him at the beach
And placed this clue in reach
And just as I believed
The glass base clearly reads:
“This is the property...
Of the Red Herring Brewery”

NARRATOR: [Spoken]:
And then with a loud crash, Ray broke open the simulator’s hatch with a nearby barrel and the Lighthouse Man emerged and stumbled out onto the cellar floor. He looked exhausted, so unbelievably exhausted but there was also an indication of relief that seemed to shine out from his glistening, kind eyes.

The keeper had been saved...at last...he was free.